Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Discouragement, Depression and Anxiety in our Relationships

Relationships are tough.  Knowing what to do in difficult times or moments of frustration can often seem to be a mystery.  Cindy O'Donnell has brought us a great article on how to examine our role in relationship issues.  When our relationships lack boundaries we can often feel anxious or depressed.  Here is what Cindy has to say:

“I just don’t understand why they did that to me.”
“Why are they hurting me like this?”
“They are so disrespectful?”
“I can’t take this anymore!”

Have you ever heard yourself say or think any of these questions? I know I have and I also have heard these questions asked over and over in my office. This type of thinking, if ruminated about long enough, can lead to discouragement, depression, stress and anxiety. Maybe as you are reading this you find yourself in a situation where you have been asking yourself these kinds of questions.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Hope

Adrienne Kather is the author of this week's article on the topic of Hope.  What a key aspect hope plays in our lives.  The difference between having no hope and even just a little bit of hope can have an incredible impact in out lives.  This article will help define the concept of hope and show you ways in which you can develop it's presence in your life.  Here is what Adrienne has to say:

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick...” Proverbs 13:12 NASB

It’s a new year and it has gotten me thinking about hope. I’m sure most of us had things happen last year that were not what we wanted or expected and are hoping that certain things are better this year. I think that is probably what drives New Year resolutions - the desire for things to be better, for us to do better. At the core of wanting better is expectation. Expectation is the essence of hope. And hope is what keeps us moving forward.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Language of Encouragement

Confidence. Courage. Self-esteem. These words are hot topics in today’s world. We know that confidence and self-esteem are important qualities for children to develop, and we know that confident children are able to more easily face the challenges of daily life. It is safe to say that almost all parents want to instill confidence and self-esteem in their children, but many parents question how exactly the process works. Self-esteem grows when children feel accepted, loved, and competent. Most parents have no problem showing love and acceptance, but for children, developing competence takes time and encouragement from parents. Children need to know that their parents believe in them. The language used with children can either instill confidence or harm, helping the child to thrive or wither. 


Children who are encouraged tend to have a strong sense of self-esteem. Children who are criticized or discouraged tend to have little self-esteem. If you are thinking you have this whole encouragement thing under control, hear me out for just a little bit longer. There’s a catch with the language of encouragement.
If you were asked to describe the difference between praise and encouragement, what would you say? When I ask parents this question in my office, I am often met with a look of questioning. A lot of parents think they are using the language of encouragement when they really use the language of praise. You see praise and encouragement are similar, but their impact is quite different. Allow me to explain the difference. 


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Finding Quiet Time with God

I'm excited to introduce you to Francine Costanza, the newest counselor at Heritage Counseling Center and the author of this week's article!  Francine brings us encouragement and hints on how to get into the routine of finding quiet time with God.  She explains what there is to be gained when you get into a routine of quiet time with God.  Here is what Francine has to say:

The morning alarm goes off and life begins again. Jump in the shower, dry your hair, brush your teeth, pick out something presentable to wear, make the coffee, grab a bagel (or something - maybe), get to work or to school, or just get busy. On and on we could go, listing the multitude of tasks before us each day. How many mornings across the country start out either mechanically or rushed, with the duties of life sitting on the throne? As we stop and reflect on the year gone by and the year ahead, let us consider how much time we are spending in communion with our heavenly Father. Do we really believe that He loves us immeasurably and that His power is unlimited? If so, then spending time in His presence must be a worthwhile endeavor. This new year might be a good time to slow down and set aside time each day to open God's Word and to open our hearts before Him.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Another Resolution Story


If you are a user of social media, particularly Facebook, I am sure you have seen your newsfeed filled with folks recapping their 2014 year.  Reading these recaps can be difficult at times, especially if you feel fairly unaccomplished in the past year.  Fear not!  You do not have to stay in the state of feeling unaccomplished or unchanged.  2015 brings a new opportunity.  

The beginning of this year marks a new beginning in your story, but only if you allow it to.  The story you tell yourself about this coming year is going to mark where your 2015 will end.  What do you want to accomplish this year?  Lose a couple of pounds, spend more time with your family, eat healthier etc., it all starts and end with the story you build around your goal.  If you constantly reinforce the fact that change is difficult and your goals are beyond your reach, its going to be difficult to meet them.  However, if you change the story in your mind and tell yourself a positive message about the goal you have set, it will become much easier to achieve.

This year will give you plenty of opportunities to grow and restart.  Don't be overwhelmed by obstacles — see them as opportunities for growth.  Surround yourself with people who reaffirm your positive message.  The only thing holding you back from your goals are the limits in your own mind, set by the story you tell yourself.  Change is possible, so start telling yourself a positive story!

By: Nicholas Smith, MA, LPC