One's perspective is everything to how content or how well a person copes with life. Our perspective is how we see events in life and the conclusions we make about them. What we believe about every victory or every set back or every loss directly influences the level of stress we feel. Prolonged stress wears us down physically and mentally--even spiritually. It causes more aches and pains, weight gain, even depression and anxiety. If you allow for another way to frame these set-backs and losses you can actually reduce your stress level without changing anything that is already beyond your control.
My wife and I, like just about everybody else, love sunsets. On certain days I can enjoy a beautiful sunset from the west facing window in my office. Some days we might be driving and see a stunning display of oranges and yellows, purples and reds saturating the darkening sky but when we try to take a picture there are too many obstacles in our way--trees, hills, warehouses, malls, houses or whatever. Many times we have found ourselves racing the setting sun to find a place to park with an unobstructed view just to take a picture (and share with our Facebook friends). When we are successful, I'll be honest it can lead to near giddiness. We don't let ourselves be too disappointed when we fail because we know there will be a lifetime of new chances to experience another stunner.
If only each of us would put the same kind of effort to discover better views of life-moments. I admit there are many moments that take longer to find a better perspective but it is so worth it. I propose a new word: reperspectivize. This is when we allow ourselves to see these losses or set-backs differently. Honestly some losses might take years to discover a different view.
It's the daily challenges however that have the power to maintain a constant sense of being stressed out. The way you see your job every day, the way you see a series of sleepless nights, even the way you continue to look at your hard to parent child or unhappy spouse all will either raise your level of discontent (usually paired with discouragement, irritability or a short fuse) or energize you to look for solutions or endure difficult times.
I am not suggesting a fantasy world that denies hurts or whatever might be broken. A certain amount of stress can fire us up to confront what needs change or motivate us to accept what we cannot change for the moment. Searching for a new and improved perspective is often the difference between persistent anger and/or sadness or an initial wave of anger and sadness followed by a drive to overcome or recover--to fight if necessary.
As many times as the sun sets, there are also opportunities to reperspectivize a failure, a conflict, a hurt or some bad news. Sometimes you have to drive around for a while and sometimes you might not see it but you try again the next day. If you can't see it differently you might call someone for help (a friend, a spouse, a counselor, a spiritual leader, etc.). Either way, your ability to reperspectivize will grow as you continue to look and as you continue to challenge and let go of your own conclusions about daily circumstances.
Reperspectivize (ree-per-spek-tiv-ahyz)
--verb
to remedy a mental view or prospect
By: Scott Hendrickson, LCPC
