Ovecoming Anxiety and Worry

By: Francine Costanza, MA, LCPC 

In this world it is an accomplishment to keep free from anxiety and worry. So many things happen beyond our control. Daily there are things in the news that cause us all to shudder. How can we keep a positive attitude? How can we bounce back over and over again?

What I have found to be the best antidote for worry and anxiety is the Word of God. There are many verses which speak to us about what to do when we are plagued by disappointment, fear and worry. God wants us to trust Him no matter how trying the times. He wants us to turn to Him for strength, for comfort and for direction. A relationship with God would be pretty unimportant if we could do everything with ease and control every adversity.  The longer I live the more I realize how little I can really control and how much I need the Lord each day. Reading the scriptures reminds me of how to think which I need often because it's easy to slip into negative thoughts and doubt.  Just as we need food and water to maintain a strong healthy body we also need spiritual nourishment to have a strong and healthy spirit and mindset.  2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive  to the mind of Christ. As we read and re-read the Bible, these verses become internalized. When trouble comes, rather than fear the worst, we can rest in the knowledge that God is in control and that He will work all things out for good for us. (Romans 8:28). 

Below are some verses which are well worth memorizing or at least keeping in a convenient place to refer back to when fear and doubt take over.  God promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5).  The more we trust those words and turn to Him in our times of need, the stronger we will get and the freer we will be to think positive no matter what the circumstances.  And in this way, the power of Christ is evident in this dark world. 

The recent events in Las Vegas were  horrible and devastating. Yet in the midst of such evil, the love and courage of many was witnessed and experienced. People helped one another, police stood in the way of fire to protect those who were there. Everywhere kindness and support were shown.  No-one and no-thing can stop love and goodness from flourishing just as darkness cannot put out the light. May we trust that God will give us the strength to meet whatever challenges come before us. Through Him we can have peace and know that the victory is ours in Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

“Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  2 Timothy 1:7 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  1 John 4:18

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  Psalm 23:4

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!"  Luke 12:22-24

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38-39

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:30

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

A Review on ‘To the Bone’

By: Samantha Hicks, LCPC

‘To the Bone’ is a Netflix movie about a young girl who is struggling with an eating disorder. This movie depicts a couple of treatment programs the main character goes through and her struggles with her family. Without giving away details of the movie, if you are interested into the struggle of an eating disorder and difficulties of treatment this movie will help provide some insight into what that world is like. 

Treatment for an eating disorder can be extremely difficult. Unlike treatment with an addiction where someone can avoid the substance they abuse; someone with an eating disorder has to learn an entirely new relationship with food. We are surrounded by food and food advertisements all of the time, so relearning that relationship can take a very long time.

I also appreciate in this movie, even though it is not the focus, that it makes mention of other forms of an eating disorder; such as binge eating. A common thought regarding eating disorders is that it is not a problem because the person is not “too skinny.” According to the DSM, which is how the mental health field categorizes disorders, it states that “…eating disorders are characterized by a persistent disturbance of eating or eating-related behavior that results in the altered consumption or absorption of food and that significantly impairs physical health or psychosocial functioning (p.329).” Depending on the diagnosis there can criteria for weight limits, however most eating disorders are not categorized by below average weight. 

Eating disorders take form in one or multiple of the following ways:

• Restricting- reducing the amount of food intake
• Binging- eating an amount of food in large portions than typically seen
• Purging- throwing ingested food back up
• Over-exercising

The important thing to remember if you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder is seeking help in a variety of ways. Therapy, whether in group or individual, is very helpful to process through the underlying feelings of the behaviors. It is not as simple as just eating. Effective treatment includes other disciplines as well such as a dietitian, doctor, and psychiatrist. Like stated previously, treatment is very difficult and for some it takes an eye-opening or scary incident for true change to occur; which this movie also shows.

Dysfunctional Self-Care Repeats Itself

Dysfunctional self-care would be the things we do to relieve ourselves of our hurt or fear or our anger that ultimately lead to more hurt, fear or anger, etc. An example would be buying stuff excessively on Amazon or another of our favorite shopping places (online or brick and mortar) or explosively venting on the ones we love or trying to manipulate people in order to obtain a specifically desired outcome because we believe that if that outcome happens, our intense hurting feelings would dissipate.

Usually these attempts to care for our wounded feelings are externally focused. Anything or anybody outside of our inner self is the target. We might think, ‘if only I could get THIS, then I would feel better’. THIS could be a new wall color in our bedroom or a specific promise from a lover or a certain pay grade at work or...anything else outside of your own heart that you want. THIS might also include payback to someone who rejected or betrayed or disappointed us. If somebody else changes or something else changes...I would get relief—if only for a while.

People who use porn as a way to find relief from stress or anger are dysfunctionally caring for themselves. A betrayed spouse who obsesses on catching his partner cheating believes he will feel better if he can monitor every phone call and social interaction his wife has and prevent another cheating moment. The belief that if I can show enough rage, scream loud enough or shame completely enough, I can prevent any type of behavior that could hurt me.

Here is the rub: dysfunctional self-care repeats itself. Ask anyone who uses porn or smokes weed or some other life-controlling behavior how they feel soon after his or her latest use and the common answer is ashamed, embarrassed, fearful or worthless. Those specific feelings: shame, embarrassment, fear or worthlessness are among our most painful feelings. Do you see how externalizing our self-care dysfunctionally perpetuates itself? If you use your acting out behavior as a way to soothe your difficult feelings and it leads to more painful feelings, you are very likely to be right back at it again in order to find relief from more pain not less pain.

Was it Einstein who said, 'doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome is insanity’? Maybe we all have a little crazy in us but trying to soothe our hurt or fear, etc. by doing something that leads to more feelings that need more care really is crazy—we are all strugglers in some way. I also realize the short-term relief that comes from our acting out brings us back to it. It is rather addicting for sure!

Because it is so addicting, it’s really difficult to simply stop on our own. Find some key relationships that can encourage, speak truth, support and/or just be present with you without judging in your struggle. My faith in Jesus and important truth-tellers in my life have provided me many of these. A skilled counselor can help, a wise mentor, Pastor or healthier family member can as well. Reach out! There are people and resources who are equipped to help with such a struggle. 

By: Scott Hendrickson, LCPC