I recently missed a phone call from my brother. His voicemail said something along the lines of “I sure hope I’m not locked in cell phone jail right now. Call me back.” The “cell phone jail” he was lovingly referring to was my Be Present Box.
You might be wondering why in the world I would have a little box like this in my home, so allow me to explain. After realizing how much time was wasted on our phones and how much time my husband and I spent near each other without ever really connecting, I wanted to create a visual reminder that would help us be more intentional with our time. This little box sits on a shelf in the corner of our kitchen near our table – a place where we spend a decent amount of our time together. Its words prompt us to think twice about what we are doing with our time, and its presence is a visual reminder that there is more to life than technology and the latest things happening on Facebook or Instagram.
Are we being present with each other or are we off in some other world missing out on true connection?
It is far to easy to mindlessly scroll through my phone, but at what cost? I am missing out on opportunities for conversation or the small details of non verbal communication like the mischievous grins or looks of concern that tell me he has had a difficult day. I am missing out on true connection and trading it for a sense of connection that will leave me empty handed at the end of the day. My phone is a distraction, and if I am not careful, it will lead to a disconnection.
Although I do not have any kids in school, the start of the school season always brings about a sort of getting back into a routine. One routine I want to work hard at getting into my life is using our “Be Present” box. Summer threw our schedule off, and my husband and I have gotten out of the habit of keeping our phones in this box when we are home together. This summer that little box became a catch all spot for the things my husband needed to take with him to work, but as I have been thinking about what routines I want back in my life, I have realized that little box did more for me than I thought. The “Be Present” box helped me to break some of the chains the technology tried to bind me with.
I’m vowing to get back into the habit of putting my phone in its proper place and spending quality time intentionally connecting with the ones I love. Will you join me?
If you’d like to read more on technology and families, check out these previous blog posts that I have written on the topic here or here.
By: Amanda Paben, LPC
