Who is Calling

Through the years I’ve been awed by two books; God Calling and Jesus Calling.  The first was written anonymously by two Catholic nuns who met together and listened for what they heard God saying to them.  It was a book of hope and comfort to me during a difficult time in my life.  The second, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, has been a blockbuster best seller in the Christian community for a few years now.  She shares in her introduction, that she was inspired by the book God Calling and decided to write her own book through listening to God speak to her.

  

Since reading these two books, I have tried my hand at writing down what I think I hear God saying to me.  It proved to be a wonderful exercise and a blessing as the words that came were ones of love, hope, wisdom and meaning to me.  

Here are a few examples of what came to me when I listened for God to speak to me.  Sometimes a Bible verse I had read would motivate me to begin as in this example:

(Psalm 94:19) When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.

(What I felt that God said to me) “You are bogged down by many worries, even though you know Me and My love.  It is because you are easily deceived by the world and influenced by appearances.  You think that your security is based on the physical.  But your security is found in Me.  You need to get that.”

Another time, this came to mind:

“Do not fret or worry.  Trust Me.  Remember Who I am, the One Who loves you, the One Who has brought you into existence, the One Who died and rose again to give you life.  I am your Father, you can count on Me.  You can trust in My love.  You can trust in My promises.  I forgive you for everything.  I give you eternal life.  In this world are struggles and difficulties.  You know that I overcame the world and I am in you to overcome the things that you face in this world.  You are made for My kingdom which is eternal and which will come at the appointed time.  Have faith in My words and feel my Spirit in you, which is love, joy, peace and all that is good.  Rejoice that you and yours belong to Me and My kingdom. All I have is shared with all My children.  My love is larger than all the oceans and more than every grain of sand, more than all the stars above and all the molecules of life.  Live in My love.”

And one more:

“Guess what? I want you to be happy!  This often surprises people as they grow in their awareness of Me.  Happiness is not something which I give you permission to have.  It is My will for you.  You were designed to experience true happiness, lasting happiness, unashamed happiness. The happiness that I am talking about is not the same as that derived from earthly pleasure.  It is not dependent on such pleasures in order to exist.  It comes from the relationship you have with Me and the outpouring of My love onto your life and relationships with others.  It is similar to joy but it is lighter.  None the less, happiness does have a place in My kingdom and in the hearts of My children.”

This last sample kind of surprised me as often the definition of happiness described by believers is more carnal, based on worldly accomplishments, material gain, etc.  But I’ve often thought about the definition of “blessed,” given in Strong’s Concordance of the Bible, which means “to be happy.”  And according to the Bible, God does want to bless us.  So I guess that means He wants us to be happy! Happy in a way that can’t be taken from us because it is rooted in something far greater and indestructible, the Creator of the universe, Who loves us and died for us to free us from the power of sin, that we may live forever with Him.  We may not always be happy because bad things happen in this world.  But I believe it is our destiny and God will continue to bring us true happiness as we spend time in His presence.

This writing exercise is something that anyone can do if they believe in the Lord Jesus, have 20 minutes of spare time, paper and a pen (or a device to type on!).  I have always spent some time in God’s Word before attempting this and think it is best to start with reading some Scripture.  So how about giving it a try?  Instead of reading someone else’s version of what God is saying to them, or someone’s devotional book, listen for God’s devotion to you.  Write it down, believe what comes to mind, remember it and treasure it.  My guess is that it will be more positive, uplifting and compassionate than you might expect.  It certainly was for me. 

Some people may worry and think, “What if it’s just my thoughts coming through?  How dare I think they are God’s thoughts?!”  To that I would say; do they match up with Scripture? If they are speaking truth, then why fear?  And if they are just human thoughts then so be it.  I would never be so bold as to claim that these are absolutely from God.  But if they do not contradict God’s Word, I do not think there is any harm in having what feels like a two-way conversation with God, especially if accompanied by His Word and prayer.

May God richly bless you in your adventure through life and may He inspire you to meet with Him regularly, hopefully for a joy-filled, two-way conversation!

 

By: Francine Costanza, LCPC

 

 

 

Reperspectivize: A Healthier Way to Deal with Stress

One's perspective is everything to how content or how well a person copes with life. Our perspective is how we see events in life and the conclusions we make about them. What we believe about every victory or every set back or every loss directly influences the level of stress we feel. Prolonged stress wears us down physically and mentally--even spiritually. It causes more aches and pains, weight gain, even depression and anxiety. If you allow for another way to frame these set-backs and losses you can actually reduce your stress level without changing anything that  is already beyond your control. 

My wife and I, like just about everybody else, love sunsets. On certain days I can enjoy a beautiful sunset from the west facing window in my office. Some days we might be driving and see a stunning display of oranges and yellows, purples and reds saturating the darkening sky but when we try to take a picture there are too many obstacles in our way--trees, hills, warehouses, malls, houses or whatever. Many times we have found ourselves racing the setting sun to find a place to park with an unobstructed view just to take a picture (and share with our Facebook friends). When we are successful, I'll be honest it can lead to near giddiness.  We don't let ourselves be too disappointed when we fail because we know there will be a lifetime of new chances to experience another stunner. 

If only each of us would put the same kind of effort to discover better views of life-moments. I admit there are many moments that take longer to find a better perspective but it is so worth it. I propose a new word: reperspectivize. This is when we allow ourselves to see these losses or set-backs differently. Honestly some losses might take years to discover a different view. 

It's the daily challenges however that have the power to maintain a constant sense of being stressed out. The way you see your job every day, the way you see a series of sleepless nights, even the way you continue to look at your hard to parent child or unhappy spouse all will either raise your level of discontent (usually paired with discouragement, irritability or a short fuse) or energize you to look for solutions or endure difficult times. 

I am not suggesting a fantasy world that denies hurts or whatever might be broken. A certain amount of stress can fire us up to confront what needs change or motivate us to accept what we cannot change for the moment. Searching for a new and improved perspective is often the difference between persistent anger and/or sadness or an initial wave of anger and sadness followed by a drive to overcome or recover--to fight if necessary. 

As many times as the sun sets, there are also opportunities to reperspectivize a failure, a conflict, a hurt or some bad news. Sometimes you have to drive around for a while and sometimes you might not see it but you try again the next day. If you can't see it differently you might call someone for help (a friend, a spouse, a counselor, a spiritual leader, etc.). Either way, your ability to reperspectivize will grow as you continue to look and as you continue to challenge and let go of your own conclusions about daily circumstances. 

Reperspectivize (ree-per-spek-tiv-ahyz)

--verb

to remedy a mental view or prospect

By: Scott Hendrickson, LCPC

Persevering Through Stressful Times

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4

Pure joy? Really? You've got to be kidding!

When we have difficulties mounting around us, the idea of "considering it pure joy" can be incomprehensible to our human minds. Whether it's the stress at a job , a sick child, an aging parent, or a relationship conflict, too much stress can be immobilizing. Suddenly just getting dressed can be a challenge. Simple things like taking a shower, making meals or even getting out of bed can feel like hard labor. So how can James, the brother of Jesus, say to have joy during such times?

Keeping the Sabbath in the 21st Century

Hello Everyone!  Today we have a great post by Cindy O'Donnell. I'll be honest, this post made me check myself, because rest is not something I do all that well.  Rest is often over looked.  What I love about this topic is that it not only affects our emotional state but it also will improve our spiritual and physical state.  Here is what Cindy has to say:

I woke up at 6:30am to get ready for work and get my daughter off to school, after dropping my daughter off at her school I ran to the first meeting of my day.  This particular meeting usually lasted several hours, which then gave me just enough time to run home grab something to eat (sometimes forgoing eating and squeezing in an appointment) and then going to my second job.  Round trip this brought me back home by 9:30pm.  I then would debate about whether or not to eat, talk to my family or go to bed.  Many nights would result in a crabby person walking in the door, resulting from hunger and tiredness.  The problem with this particular kind of a schedule is that is was a norm for me, not an exception.  Many of you may be able to relate to this and are thinking so what is the big deal?

STRESS…that is the big deal.  We are a society that suffers from hurriedness, stress and anxiety in proportional numbers.  Many refuse to see this epidemic until it is too late.  We reward the go, go, goers and anything else may be seen as lazy.  The word rest is not in many peoples vocabulary.  It is as if how to rest needs to be taught.  One of the many things that I do with my clients is teach people how to rest, not just sleep, but also rest our bodies, our minds and our souls.  

One of the mandatory laws of the Old Testament was keeping the Sabbath Holy or taking a day of rest.  This particular law if broken was punishable by death.  Interesting, huh?  Today that same punishment does not exist…or does it?  I mean when we fail to care for ourselves, give our bodies rest and rid ourselves of hurriedness, the result is a gradual death.  According to the American Sociological Association stress keeps more then 40% of Americans up at night.  That means almost half the population is walking around sleepless and tired during the waking hours of the day!  All stress is not bad in fact stress has a place in our life, it is the fight or flight reaction that says the house is on fire and I need to get out, but often we get stuck on “on” and normal stress becomes distress and this distress can lead to this gradual death.    Stress can lead people into addictive behaviors such as, overeating, drinking, over spending, gambling etc.  It can affect our physical health from tummy troubles, to cardiac issues and multiple mental health concerns.  Just to name a few.

So what do you do?  Quite your job and move to the country?  Well for some this is exactly what they have done.  People don’t have to always make such drastic changes.  They do need to learn how to slow down and REST.  How many of you can say that you are comfortable sitting down for 5 minutes and doing nothing?  If you are and you do this, great!  If not you should try it.  Go ahead, sit down, turn a timer on and rest.  How many of you made it for the full 5 minutes?  You don’t have to raise your hand but for many of you this was a challenge. This will be challenge in many areas of our lives.  Self care, including resting is usually seen as laziness, slacking off or not being a team player.  The one thing that can help aide in our physical, mental and spiritual health is looked down upon and discouraged.  So for those of you who believe in the need for rest have hope and be willing to step up and make time for rest, make it a priority.  Priorities often require change.

Let’s define what I mean by rest.  Rest is not taking a vacation to Disney Land.  It is not going to the gym, jogging or taking a class.  Those are great things and can be enjoyable but are not exclusively what I mean by resting.  Archibald Hart defines rest is this, “Rest is not the time to catch up on unfinished chores, run missing errands, go to the mall, or even take in a movie.  These are activities, and activities are not rest producing.  What characterizes rest is that it is not an activity.  It is pure, luxurious leisure, time to rediscover yourself, catch up on your feelings, determine new priorities, recreate a sense of balance, and, most importantly of all, restore your soul and reconnect with God.”  How many of you do this on a regular basis?

So where do I begin?  So glad you asked.  In his, book The Anxiety Cure; Hart outlines seven ways to maintain this idea of rest.

1. Pay careful attention to developing an awareness of you limits.  We all have limits.  Not one of us is superhuman.  God didn’t create us that way.  Like all creatures, we not only have our limits, but we have to learn to stay, work, and live within them.
2. Never work until you have reached your limits.  Many get into the habit of working until getting a signal to stop, such as exhaustion, fatigue, headache, or dizziness.  They just keep going until they are about to drop.  Once you start to experience a stress-like symptom, you have gone too far.  Learn to stop before you get to the edge of you limits.
3. The moment you realize that you are approaching your limit, stop.  I mean stop right there and then.  Do not wait until your eyestrain, pain, or headache kicks in.  Your goal should be to never create a stress symptom, but to stop well before the edge.
4. Maintain regular breaks during your workday.  You will find that if you stop periodically and relax so as to lower your adrenaline, you will in fact be able to keep going longer.  It’s like running a marathon race.  If you keep going full speed, you will drop before you get to the end of the race.  If you pace yourself, allowing times of less energy drain, your system has an opportunity to rejuvenate itself during the race.
5. If you exceed your limits and find yourself in stress of pain, back off and allow time for recovery.  Once you trigger a pain or other stress response, your body not only needs to rejuvenate itself from the adrenaline over draft you’ve created, but it also has to heal the damage you have done.
6. Take a good Sabbath rest at the end of every day.  The most
   
   important discovery I made regarding my own stress abuses is that I neglected to rest every day.  I thought I could just keep going and make up for my depletion every week, month, or even year.  Not a good idea.  In fact, it’s crazy.  We need daily renewal.  This means you must allow enough time for relaxing, and sleeping each day.
7. Take a good sabbath rest at weekends.  As discussed earlier, I am not advocating a literal Sabbath as per the Old Testament, though this may not be a bad idea.  The principle I support is “taking a break.”  Those of us in Christian work are perhaps the biggest culprits.  We are deluded into thinking that just because we are doing God’s work, we are excused from all the restrictions of being in human bodies.  We are not.  Rest is just as important in Christian work as it is in daily work.

These principles can be quite a lot to take in, but I encourage you to really think about them and the ways in which to incorporate them into your life.  They do require some change but in the end it will be well worth it.  Next time we will be talking about the difference between rest and relaxation, as both are necessary for our health.

By: Cindy O'Donnell, LCSW

Understanding Anxiety

Hello All!  Nicholas Smith here again on the Blog for the 2nd time this week.  Anxiety is the topic for today.  I wanted to paint a broad picture here of what it is and how to fix it.  This is in no way the final work ever needed to be produced on the subject, but more of a quick snapshot.  Here is what I had to say:

According to WebMD.com, 28.8% of Americans will suffer from anxiety at some point throughout their lifetime, in a way that interferes with their daily activities. America is considered to be the most anxious country in the world. I write this post as an attempt to present some of the common effects and remedies to anxiety. 

1. Negative Thinking.  Most of how we feel is guided by the thoughts we allow ourselves to ponder.  Simply put, if we think negatively about ourselves, we will believe that negative things are going to happen to us.  We must challenge our negative thoughts!  Take note of your thought life.  What is your inner voice saying?  Is what you tell yourself true?  Often times, we tell ourselves elaborate tales of how forgetting to pay the telephone bill will lead us to living on the streets, fighting rats for bits of food in the dumpster.  But that just isn't true.  Take note, find the truth, then let the truth lead you.
2. Anxiety is often times hard to understand, and those suffering from it, try really hard to figure it out.  Thinking about why you are anxious isn't going to be enough.  You must become a scientist.  Log your thinking in a journal, study your thought patterns and see how they affect how you feel.  The only reason we understand anything in the natural world is because someone was willing to take the time to study it.  So do the work.
3. All consuming is an appropriate way to describe anxiety for most people.  When you feel overwhelmed with stress, it really can take a toll, especially if you feel trapped.  This situation can lead to a desire to escape.  Some escape to drugs and alcohol, pornography, movies, video games etc...  When you are anxious stick to your trusted hobbies or find a new hobby.  Talk to your friends about how you are feeling.
4. Anxiety is exhausting.  This exhaustion can lead to feelings of depression.  Continue your routine!  You don't feel like it but you have to do it.  Skipping work, school and your other commitments are only going to lead to bigger problems down the road.  If you don't have a routine or commitments, make some.  Try to go to sleep at a decent time, and don't oversleep.  You don't need any more than 9hrs max, unless your doctor has told you otherwise.  Even though you may be exhausted, incorporate exercise.  Exercise is a great natural stress relief.  You don't even have to get a gym membership, just go take a 20 minute walk.
5. Whether having a low sense of self can cause anxiety or if anxiety can cause a low sense of self is no matter.  What we do know is that a low sense of self can accompany those with prolonged anxiety.  It is important during these times to remind yourself of who you are and who it is that you want to be in 2 years, 5 years etc.  Write down positive character traits about yourself and those traits you wish to exercise more commonly.  
6. The final point is purpose.  Anxiety can come about when folks have gone through period of their life and don't seem to be getting anywhere.  Maybe a dead-end job or feeling like you should be further along in life than you are (all your friends are married, all your peers have graduated college, etc.).  Maybe its time to rethink the direction of your life, set some new goals.  Most likely there will be much of issue #1 occurring so you might have to get some peace in this area.  

As always, I hope this post has been educational and inspirational in some ways.  If you suffer from anxiety, please contact a professional in order to get help.  Exodus chapter 14 verse 14 has sort of been stuck in my mind, check that out and let me know what you think!

By: Nicholas Smith, MA, LPC