More Than We Can Handle?

When comforting those who are struggling under the weight of life’s difficulties, it is crucial to provide sound encouragement that will not only relieve the sufferer, but do so in a way that is in line with God’s truth. It is truly surprising how often the advice

A Wall of Safety: Part 2

In the second part of this article I present to you this exercise to assist you in finding pockets of peace when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed. See if you can find a place to be alone (i.e. parked car, office, basement, closet, wherever possible). The thing that distresses you is what causes the most anxiety or angst at any given moment. This could be your boss’s pressure (or a spouse’s) to get something done, a past traumatic event, any current fear, etc.

A Wall of Safety: Part 1 of 2

The need for safety is as old as our need for food, water and air. I want to tell you a story that illustrates this need and then give you a little exercise to alleviate anxiety or feeling overwhelmed by whatever distresses you—to bring a sense of safety in a given moment where anxiety is high.

Contentment Killers part 2

In today’s day and age, people in general are often more invested in their beliefs and agendas than they are in the truth. Because of this, defensive strategies arise that actually prevent any new messages from getting through and being heard. At this point we could spend a considerable amount of time debating on what is truth but that is not the point of this article (maybe some other day). The point of this writing is to consider how blocking these messages or any new information or perspectives can prevent us from experiencing contentment.

Have You Ever Read the ENTIRE Serenity Prayer?

God grant me the serenity

Contentment Killers, part 1

There are so many demands on each of us in the world it is becoming increasingly difficult to obtain any kind of lasting contentment. It is my observation that contentment can be achieved even when the world around us is crazy, demanding and/or falling apart. Here are some contentment killers that might lessen anyone’s ability to be more content at any given moment.

Grace and Truth in Difficult Conversations

A huge challenge I find many people encounter in counseling is how to speak the truth in love; what it means to be assertive, rather than aggressive, passive, or passive aggressive. How do we confront people with the truth without being judgmental, controlling or self-righteous; in other words “speak the truth in love”? And how do we offer grace and mercy to others, lift them up, be encouraging and supportive, without being enabling, lukewarm or sugarcoating?

There, unfortunately, is no one easy answer that applies in all situations and all relationship dynamics. Rather, we need to prayerfully seek God’s will and apply Scripture on a case by case basis, as we all need both soft love (grace and mercy) and tough love (iron sharpening iron). Galatians 6:1 tells us “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (ESV)

For additional reading on this subject, Henry Cloud’s book “Changes That Heal” is an excellent resource for self-growth and improving relational skills. Early in the book, Henry addresses this Grace and Truth dilemma, and gives a good analogy of how we need to have a right balance of both in life and in our relationships. I also recommend Philip Yancey’s book, “What’s So Amazing About Grace?” and James Dobson’s “Love Must Be Tough” for further insight and examples of ways to appropriately balance grace and truth.

Written by Roberta Vondrak, LCPC