So You're Thinking About Therapy?

By: Jeannette Sziler, LCPC

It is an incredibly difficult and courageous thing for someone to seek help when they are struggling with mental health concerns. Taking that step can be scary for people however this step is one of the most beneficial things that someone can do for their overall well-being. That being said we need to address what to expect from therapy.

As a therapist who has been in this field under many different hats before entering private practice, I have heard a lot of different things about what Clients initially thought therapy would be. I have heard, “therapy is like talking to a friend”, “I keep thinking my therapist will solve this for me”, “how long does this take?”, etc. The funny thing about therapy is....it isn't about friendship, it isn't about problem solving for a Client, and therapists cannot guesstimate exactly how long therapy will “take”.

While therapy is all about you, your family, your goals, it is not about cultivating a friendship with your therapist. What it is about, is cultivating a trusting relationship with your therapist in order to meet a set goal. While you can like and certainly be friendly with your therapist, you two are not friends. Friends are not objective people in your life who can guide you to a solution without their own biases getting in the way.

Speaking of goals. Therapists assist in goal setting, exploration and processing of concerns. They do not do not solve problems for you. What Clients need to realize is that therapists do not give solutions, they aid Clients in searching for their own answers that are healthy and appropriate for their needs and their lives.

When one is considering therapy it is important to keep those things in mind. It is also helpful to remember that therapy can be brief or it can span years. The length of time is contingent on many things particularly on the amount of consistent work the Client is willing to put in to the therapy. Therapists can provide all the tools in the world, they won't do much good if they aren't being used.

The last thing I can recommend for those daring to take this wonderful step is, if you aren't feeling connected to the therapist, ask yourself what is preventing that trusting relationship from developing? Is the therapist not going where you need them to be? Are they disclosing too much about themselves? Not of enough coping skills that you feel play to your strengths? 

Whatever it is that you need, ask for it. There is no better relationship in where you can ask for what you need without the fear of repercussions, than in the therapist-client relationship. Therapy is a commitment that is worth the time investment. Be kind to yourself and take that step if you think you need it, like a friend once said, “I've never sat down with my therapist, had a session and thought, 'boy I wish I hadn't done that'”.

If you are ready to start your counseling journey, visit our website by clicking HERE or give us a call at 815-577-8970.

Quick Tips on Improving Mind, Body and Soul

By: Terri Griswold, LCPC

Mind – Take-up a new hobby, one that stimulates the mind. Find something challenging, something you’ve always wanted to do. Even puzzles work. Stimulating the mind will help keep it fresh, active, and clear and will help prevent mental disorders later in life.

Body – Get active during leisure time. Plan the day ahead and include leisure activities into your schedule. It could be anything from a walk in the park, physical activity, sport, yoga, anything except running errands and work. 30 minutes a day will improve the quality of life.


Soul – A source of expression is the stamp of authenticity. A creative outlet to express the soul will keep you feeling young and alive, with a sense of purpose. Creativity is more than drawing and painting, it’s playing an instrument, dancing, writing, and gardening. Creativity is anything you put your heart and soul into.

Give it a try and let me know what you are doing to improve your life!

Resolution Momentum

By: Nick Smith, LCPC

If you started this year with a resolution, I first want to congratulate you on making a commitment to change. I hope this post serves as some encouragement on your journey. There is no doubt that this journey will be difficult at times but here are some ideas to help keep you going.

1. Start Small: Typically the “Go Big or Go Home” mentality leads many people to just “go home.” If you can start making small changes here at the beginning of the year, you can build momentum. It’s better to frustrated about feeling like you can do more than to feel frustrated by the daily difficulty of it.
   
2. Change is difficult. If it weren’t, you would have done it already. Remember this when your mind starts to condemn you for being “weak” or “slow” or “unable.”
   
3. If one day you want to quit, do something small. If you committed to going to the gym, then go for 5 minutes. If you committed to eat more greens, then eat one leaf of spinach. But achieving your goal in a small way will help momentum.
   
4. Reassess goals often. At the beginning of the year it’s easy to say, “I’m going to go to the gym 5 days a week,” then come to remember after the first week how difficult that is. It’s possible that you have overcommitted and that’s ok. Overcommitment helps to see what a more realistic goal could look like. Also, life circumstances change and we have to reassess our goals in those times. 
   

Achieving your goal is possible! Try to stay positive and surround yourself with people who support you. You can get there! 

As a Tree Grows

By: Francine Costanza, LCPC

As I look out at the trees, now void of leaves on this brisk December day, I am reminded of the story that is framed and hung in the hallway of Heritage Counseling Center. It is a fable about a young tree whose leaves are starting to change color and the tree feels confused and frightened. The tree talks to God about what is happening. It is a great analogy to what we often feel when changes happen outside of our control. A copy of the story is available at Heritage. You can ask for one at the office or any counselor can get one for you.

There are so many great tree analogies. I like the verse in Jeremiah (7:22), which says, “Those who trust in the Lord and whose confidence is in Him will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in the year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” When I think of our roots going down deep into the ground, I think of being rooted and grounded in Christ. I believe that this is what gives us the rich spiritual nourishment we need to make us the strong and healthy, able to withstand any storm or wind that comes our way. 

The idea of a tree bearing fruit is also mentioned in the Bible, indicating our spiritual growth and the evidence of our faith in Christ. In Matthew 7:20, Jesus talks about good fruit and bad fruit being shown in people when He says, “By their fruits you shall know them.” Them refers to those who demonstrate the character qualities that God desires in us. And what exactly are these qualities or good fruits that Jesus is talking about? Galatians 5:22 explains it clearly. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” On our own these fruits can be hard to come by. Patience and gentleness are not always easy. And the Bible teaches that joy is not based on circumstances. God is the one who can bring these qualities about in us when we can’t. Left to ourselves we are inconsistent in our abilities to maintain them. But with God working in us through the Holy Spirit we can. As we spend time with the Lord, meditating on his Word and praying, these fruits will blossom and grow in us.

May each of you who reads this, grow strong in the Lord and in the power of his love with deep roots and may you bear the ripest and best of fruits!

Therapist Anxiety

By: Samantha Hicks, LCPC

Seeking therapy can be an anxiety provoking experience. There can be so many questions on where to start and how to find someone who is a good fit for you. It is difficult to even figure out where to begin. Here are some helpful questions to think about and hints to make the process easier for you!

What do you need help with?

Starting with what you are seeking help for can be helpful in finding a therapist. Therapist typically specialize or have experience in areas. The website biographies are a perfect place to look for this information. Click HERE for our counselors.

What type of therapy are you looking for?

Do you want a male or female therapist? Christian therapist? Someone who is challenging, or has you guide the session? Do not be afraid to try a few therapists out to identify which one you feel works the best with you.

As therapists, we want the best fit for you that is going to help you achieve your goals. A way to get to know us better before we have a session is call us to get to know our therapy style a little better. Some questions to ask in that phone call could include:

• Do you have any specialties?
• Do you have experience working with (what you are looking to have help regarding)?
• What is your therapy style?

There is nothing wrong with calling a few therapists prior to scheduling a session with any of them. Also, do not hesitate to therapist hop if it does not seem right. You are taking a courageous step in seeking therapy and we want to make it the best fit for you. It can be uncomfortable to talk about situations that are affecting you so take it at your own pace. Just don’t give up!

Making Amends

By: Jeanette Sziler, LCPC

Making amends, seeking repentance can feel as if it is an impossible step to take as it demands quite a lot of the self. If one is willing to seek amends for the harm and hurt that their actions have caused others, growth will happen. Making amends is not simply a change of heart and mind that leads one to do what is right; it is an action that one takes to wrong what has been done. For an example, if the act was stealing then confess and return what was stolen. 

Expressions of humility and regret when we hurt others is important as it shows that the person understands the damage and pain they have caused others. Confessing in a radically honest way means owning the wrong that was committed. This means saying, “Yes, I stole your money, my actions are inexcusable”. It does not mean saying, “Yes, I stole from you but, it wasn't me, I was on drugs.” Confessing and owning leaves out the “buts” or any type of justifications. Seeking mercy, forgiveness, and healing of the relationships that were damaged is part of making amends. Remember however that restoring a relationship is not always possible. Sometimes owning the hurt, confessing, and apologizing doesn't open the door for reconciliation, and that has to be okay for the one making amends. If when making amends the relationship is not repaired the way it was “suppose” to go, take ownership of that for it is a consequence of poor and unwise choices. Making amends is not about anticipating how others will react or respond to it, it is about changing the heart, mind, and actions regardless of the outcome. Making amends is about growing and evolving as a person and understanding the impact of how it has effected others.

The Power of Change

By: Cindy Raices

In a world of constant change, we can become apprehensive about what the next step in our lives will look like. Whether the next step be an empty nest, a new job, a new child or a new ministry, change can be difficult. As humans beings, we crave comfort and stability. When change approaches, instead of embracing it, we resist it. We tend to resist change, even while we are in dysfunctional conditions. No matter how bad things around us, we believe it's safer for things to stay the same rather than embrace change. 

Many people fear change because of the unknown and lack of control that is tied to change. It is challenging to take the first step when we do not know what will follow. Others find change to be problematic because they believe the demands of change are out of their reach. While change may seem out of reach or too scary to fathom, here are some simple steps to approach it.

Begin by taking the first step. One of the most difficult parts of change is simply getting started. Many times our fears convince us to just focus on what is in front of us. They highlight the challenges and risks involved in moving forward. However, it is usually after taking that first step that things begin to clear up. New opportunities are birthed through embracing change. All we have to do is take the first step. 

After you’ve taken the first step, don't give up. There may be times when adversity will encourage you to go backwards. However, you must continue forward. A good way to sustain the change you have embraced is by having support and accountability. Your support can come from family, friends, or even your hope for the future. Whatever it is, make sure is something that keeps you moving forward. Forward is always a powerful direction. It causes you to grow and exposes you to more possibilities. 

There is something that happens inside of us as we change. Despite the discomfort and inconvenience that comes with change, change will always produce new opportunities, perspectives and growth if you are willing to embrace it. Take the first step and you will see how change is powerful.