Thought Life

Hello Everyone! Today I have a concept to get you thinking. This is a topic that we all are probably familiar with but I find hearing it is always a good reinforcement of the idea. Perhaps today I have explained it in a way that will strike you a bit differently than it has before. Here is what I had to say:We, as humans, can be conceptually split into many different pieces and components.  

For the purpose of this article, I am going to split us into 3 components; Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Spiritual. Thought Life refers to how we interface with the 3 components of our humanity. It often goes unnoticed, but has the ability to make a great impact on us as a whole because it informs all aspects.

Most likely today, you have had some thought about each of your human components. You had some thoughts as you looked at yourself in the mirror (Physical), as you remembered that Friday’s make you happy (Emotional), and as you did your devotionals (Spiritual). During each of these events, you had thoughts that reinforced how you view and experience yourself and your world. So those thoughts, hold great importance! We would all benefit a great deal by paying more attention to how we talk to ourselves in our thought life.

Many who are struggling with depression or anxiety, even just mildly, report having a negative Thought Life after they take some time to examine it. Some refer to this as the tape player in our mind, reinforcing that we are “bad,” “stupid,” or “never going to amount to anything.” We have to change the tape. Start filling your Thought Life with positive aspects of yourself.

If you think about your thought life as a house, what is it filled with? Is it a place you really want to be? If not, what are some things you want to change about it? Replace the old worn out thoughts that leave you feeling down or stressed out. What are your strengths, passions, goals, and dreams? Fill your Thought Life with these items and they will make a more comfortable house to live in.

By: Nicholas Smith, MA, LPC

Heart Issues

Welcome everyone, to Heritage Counseling Center’s Blog! I hope it finds you well. Farah Harris is the author of this week’s article. Farah understands that most people don’t act out of random impulses, but each and every action has some sort of reason behind it. She asks that you would join her in taking a deeper look at these behaviors. Here is what she has to say:

We often complain about another person’s behavior. As a counselor, I listen to parents grumble about their children, couples finding fault in one another, and individuals criticizing their friends or co-workers. After listening to their disapprovals, disdain and disappointments, my question to them always is “And what is the heart issue?”

Take Captive Every Thought?

It’s Friday and that means, it’s time for another article!  I wrote this article to hopefully give some direction to a verse that I believe is very important yet often hard to apply.  What do you think?

Often times, our attempts to take our own thoughts captive ends up in an over analysis of ourselves, leaving us to feel more defeated than if we would have just tried to ignore the thought entirely. Making our thoughts captive, really doesn't work as easily as we would like it to. Here are some thoughts from a counselor’s perspective on some ways to apply the famous words of Paul, “…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5b

First off, name it.  Write the thought down.  Here is a common thought that we all struggle with from time to time. “I’m a failure.”  This might not be your specific thought, but I am going to use it as an example.  Did you write down your thought yet?

Next, name the emotion that goes along with that though.  Sad, frustrated, lonely etc.  For “I’m a failure,” I am going to say the emotion would be “Hopeless.”

After that; Challenge the thought!  “I am not a failure.” We often take isolated incidents in our lives and treat them as our complete and total reality.  For instance; just because you failed at one thing, or even multiple things, doesn’t make you a failure.  Being a failure is a state of mind, challenge the thought like this, “I made a mistake in the past, but the past doesn’t tell me where I’m going, only where I came from.”  Think of all the success you have had in your life, write those down too.  If you need help creating a list, ask someone you love.

Then, create a plan for how you will handle this negative thought in the future and identify your desired emotion. “When I feel like a failure in the future, I will remind myself that isn’t the truth.  I will remind myself of my successes.  And I will identify what I can learn from the moment of ‘failure’.”  Identify your current emotion (hopeless) and how you would like to feel (hopeful), then give yourself reasons for having hope.

Taking every thought captive is difficult, there is no way around it.  You will have to rehearse your plan for how to deal with negative thinking many times, often with little success at first.  But after time, it will become more common and eventually, it will become your default mode of operation.  Rewiring your thoughts takes time, but it's worth the work.

By: Nicholas Smith, LPC

Living with Depression and Getting Stuck in a Snow Bank

It’s Wednesday, and that means it time for another great article! This week on the Blog we have Scott Hendrickson, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and the President of Heritage Counseling Center. Scott brings some great information for us on the topic of depression. How are we to start recovery? What is a Christian perspective on depression? Can it ever get better? These are some questions that Scott wrestles with in this article. Here is what he has to say:

The feeling of depression is a difficult thing to live with. Many people have sat with me and shared the pain of their depression. It is quite honestly difficult to describe what it is like. I will be the first to admit that I cannot fully comprehend the depth of darkness, tiredness, loneliness and shame that a depressed person often lives with. It is so difficult that it can lead many people to believe they are causing all of this to happen to themselves. You see, that is what depression does, it leads you to have a darker, more judgmental view of yourself and when you believe you are the cause, you just don't want to be seen and life becomes darker and lonelier still. I know it is deeply challenging to accept but there is hope for you. I have a few thoughts to encourage all of us and that might lead to some changes in the way we think.

Pure Joy?

Hello everyone, welcome to blog post #2 for this week. I come across this passage from time to time and I’m often stuck at the paradox it brings, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,” James 1:2. The following is my attempt to make some sense of this paradox.

Trials aren’t inherently joyous occasions. They are seemingly, the complete opposite. Some describe their trials as not only a difficult circumstance in life, but sometimes, they are accompanied by the feeling of God’s absence. Pure joy?

Why See a Counselor? Part 1

Hello Everyone! This week on the Blog we have Adrienne Kather giving us her responses to some common reactions to counseling. As you read through, is there one particular statement that sticks out to you, maybe a belief you have or had? Leave a comment below about which on sticks out to you!

When talking about counseling (or telling people I’m a counselor) I’ve heard varying reactions about participating in counseling…and they are hardly ever positive. Although the stigma related to counseling and other mental health services has decreased over the years, it seems there is still a strong stigma (or at least some hindering misconceptions) remaining. Some of the statements are similar to the following: “I’m not crazy”, “I can handle this on my own”, “I don’t want to tell anyone about my problems”, “I’m not as bad as so-and-so”, “I can’t afford it”, “I’m reading my Bible and praying about it” and the list goes on. Similarly, I’ve heard people say in response to finding out I see a counselor say things like, “Why are you seeing a counselor, you’re normal” or “What’s wrong with you” and the list goes on.

What Not To Do, When Helping Those Who Struggle

Hello Everyone! Welcome to the second post of this week.  I, Nick Smith, am the author of this week’s second article.  My topic is more aimed at those who are trying to “help” those struggling with an inner battle.  A lot of well intentioned people inadvertently make those they are trying to help feel more isolated.  This article was written in order to avoid some of the common mistakes.  Here's what I had to say:

You don’t know what to do, and thats okay.  You might have a desire to help a person you know; a co-worker, Bible study member, or spouse, and it’s great that you have that drive to help this person.  But without your intention, your words could lead them to feel more isolated or irregular than they already do.  Here are some guidelines to avoid doing that.

Help I Have an Adult Child!

Welcome everyone! I hope this post finds you all well!  This week we are getting something special, two articles!  I’m posting today’s a little earlier than usual and then I will have the second article up on Friday. 

Cindy O’Donnell is the author of this week’s article and she really brings some light to a timely topic.  As of recent years this has become more of a phenomenon.  More than likely, you know of someone (or are this person yourself) who has a 20 something, still living at home.  Cindy does a great job of explaining how parents can best handle their situation while maintaining a healthy relationship with their child.  Here is what Cindy has to say:

Client:  My kid doesn’t do anything around the house.  They have no job, they are out all the time and I am left footing the bill for everything.  Why are they not more responsible and when will they start to chip in and help? 

Me:  How old is your child?

Client: 26

This may sound like a start to a good joke but the reality is that this is a question I get quite often.