5 Tips To Make Your Love Life Better

After being together a while, relationships can get mundane and routine if not difficult at times too!  Sometimes it's hard to let our minds focus on how to love a spouse or partner and how to connect in an emotionally fulfilling way.  We get caught up in our jobs, children, friends, activities and responsibilities that demand our attention.  It may take being intentional in order to refuel our most important human relationship, that with our significant other. 

The following suggestions are to help you start thinking, get motivated and consider giving some undivided attention to that special person in your life. If you are already setting time aside to connect, maybe you'll find an idea here that you haven't tried or haven't gotten around to doing. Either way there could be an opportunity for growth in your relationship.

1. Write a letter to your partner, telling him or her all the reasons you love them.  To help you remember, think back over the years.  What attracted you to your mate?  What impressed you about him or her?  What about them do you admire, what kindnesses have you seen, what creativity have you noticed, and what character traits do you appreciate? You can make a list or write a free flowing letter.  Either way, your partner is sure to enjoy reading it and you will bring a ray of sunshine to their day.
2. Listen to your partner, uninterrupted while he or she talks, only reflecting back what is said.  Show by your words that you understand the feelings and reasons for their thought process.  Respond with genuine compassion.  Resist the urge to fix, debate, correct, or interject your own opinions. Try to give at least 10 minutes to this process. 
3. Plan a surprise for your partner that is realistic to carry out and not too demanding on your time (that way you are more inclined to actually follow through).  Some possibilities are:  Slip him or her a gift card to a favorite restaurant or a night at a nearby hotel (preferably with a pool); Complete a task that he or she has been asking about for days (or weeks or months) that you just haven't gotten around to; Complete a task that he or she hasn't asked for but you know they would appreciate; Get 2 tickets to a concert, play, sporting event, museum, festival, zoo or.... and put them with a note or card in a place that he or she will notice or; Think up some wild and crazy idea that you know the two of you would love.
4. Do some form of exercise together (you may need to bribe the less active partner or if that is you, surprise your in-shape partner with a willingness to:  Go for a hike together out in a nature setting; Take a bike ride together on a bike path; Go to the gym together (you can usually get a free trial somewhere if you don't already have one); Let the child in you come out by going to a trampoline center together; Take a jog together; Try rock climbing together; Play badminton; Go to the batting cages or miniature golfing; Go to a town you've never been to and explore it together; Go iceskating or rollerskating; Walk along the beach together; Go canoeing or boating; Do aerobics together or; Agree to do his or her favorite "active" activity.  
5. Each of you make a list of some things you've always hoped for in your relationship; ways you've wanted to spend time together, things you've wanted from the other person that they may not know or may not know how important it would be to you. Then trade lists. Look at your partner's list and see if there is anything on there that you can fulfill for the other person. Then do it, and not with the condition that the other person will reciprocate.  If they do, great, but that is not the motivation for doing it yourself. Do it out of love and caring for your partner and experience the joy of giving to the most important person in your life.

These 5 ideas are to get your creativity going and inspire you to think of ways to enjoy each other more.  Another last thought is to compliment your partner at least once each day. And just see how he or she responds.  Make it sincere and from the heart.  A little honey goes a long way in nourishing the soul!