Adrienne Kather is the author of this week's article on the topic of Hope. What a key aspect hope plays in our lives. The difference between having no hope and even just a little bit of hope can have an incredible impact in out lives. This article will help define the concept of hope and show you ways in which you can develop it's presence in your life. Here is what Adrienne has to say:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick...” Proverbs 13:12 NASB
It’s a new year and it has gotten me thinking about hope. I’m sure most of us had things happen last year that were not what we wanted or expected and are hoping that certain things are better this year. I think that is probably what drives New Year resolutions - the desire for things to be better, for us to do better. At the core of wanting better is expectation. Expectation is the essence of hope. And hope is what keeps us moving forward.
Before talking about hope in more detail and what ways we can keep hope alive in our hearts, I want to take a moment to mourn those who have lost hope. From the child who thinks “what’s the use in trying” because they have come to believe they aren’t going to be good enough, to the person who decides they can’t keep living. Lost hope is heart breaking – both to the person who has lost hope and to those who know the one who has lost hope. I just want to pause to grieve that for a moment.
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So, what is hope? We feel something when we get in touch with hope – a sense of positive, a sense of confidence, even somewhat a sense of calm and sometimes a sense of life-giving. Although there is an emotional component to hope, hope is more than an emotion. Hope can be desire, expectation, or expectantly desiring. In any of those, we are waiting as the thing we desire or expect has not happened yet. Hope can also be placing our trust in or relying on something or someone. Even in this use there is some element of waiting. That is what makes hope difficult to hold onto. Sometimes it seems as if we have been waiting and waiting and waiting and maybe the waiting won’t come to an end. But the most basic core element of hope – that the good will work out – will eventually happen. It just doesn’t always look like we thought it would look like or happen when we think it should happen.
Hope is also like faith. Just as it only takes a little bit of faith to move a mountain, it only takes a little bit of hope to keep us moving forward. Both are like a spark. One tiny spark can last a very long time and it can grow into a large fire with a little bit of fanning it into a flame. So, how do we fan the spark of hope? How do we keep it alive in us and help it grow?
- Remember the things that have worked out in the past or that you have accomplished in the past. Remembering past successes stirs the hope that there can be success again.
- Reframe the issue you are thinking about. Instead of seeing only the negative side of it, try to view it from all sides. When we can find the good in something difficult it restores hope that good exists and that good can happen even out of the difficult.
- Talk about what is weighing you down to someone who cares. Sometimes getting it out of you is all you need to feel a release of the pressure suffocating the spark of hope, and sometimes the person you’re talking to might have something encouraging or helpful to say that fans that spark.
- Take some time for self-care or a break. Being worn out dwindles hope’s spark, taking a break sometimes is enough to restore it.
- Counseling is also a good option for processing areas that are diminishing hope and learning skills that can help address those areas. Research shows that many people experience some relief in symptoms when they call to set up their first appointment because setting up the appointment instills hope.
“You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
- Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh
By: Adrienne Kather, LPC
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